The Perfect Pay Back

Someone sent me this on myspace, I laughed so hard, I just thought that I'd share it with everyone.




I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.



FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.


Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.

”

I said, “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.

”

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.



The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.

”
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.



I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.

”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.

”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

“WHAT?”

I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.

”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either… but at least that b**** knows I’m smarter than her!

This morning while I was nice and sound asleep, a picture fell on my head. Damn those pictures and their evil plots to kill me :P. Thankfully I was still asleep enough to say some very bad words, throw the picture to the other side of the bed, and go back to sleep.

Happy Birthday my Chubby

Today is Winston first birthday, he is the love of my life, I love him more then anything the world

You have gotten so big my chub, learned so much, gotten so smart, and become so cute. You are the one thing that can make my day better. Just seeing you makes me smile and feel happy. I love you. Happy Birthday Winston

Happy Valentines Day everyone. Love you all.

3:08 and Still Wide Awake

I guess chocolate and aspirin before bed is never a good thing, I knew both of those things have caffeine in them but I guess it just slipped my mind. I feel like I need to go running or stretch something really active that will actually make me breath, for some reason it's harder than normal to breath, like when you yawn constantly trying to get more air but you end up just opening your mouth and holding your breath. You know what I mean? No? Oh well, at least I tried explaining. The really sad part of all of this is that I have to wake up early tomorrow to go to Brownsville or somewhere around there, I'm gonna be dead in the morning. At least I'll be able to sleep in the car, if I'm not already wide awake by the time we actually get everything packed up and go. As much as I hate moving and don't wanna go down to Brownsville, it will be kind of nice to go to a nice beach again, or at least a half way decent one where there's no Mexicans taking a dump in a bag. Shudders*** I'll be forever haunted by that memory. Well I managed to waste fourteen minutes writing this, I guess I should try to go to sleep again. See ya later......

There are so many better things I should be doing right now. Like reading some of the school books that are sitting at my feet where I left them yesterday. Or washing the dishes, you don't even wanna know how long those have been there. Or I could be outside doing something interesting, but no, for some reason I have to waste my time on the internet, doing the randomest, dumbest things you could think of.

Okay Tara, I've posted twice now, you have to at least post ONCE in February.

The First Post

Well I guess I'll be the first to post. I know me and Tara have both had blogs before that we never posted on and were pretty boring to read, and well...... this one probably won't be any different, unless Tara decides she wants to posts. Honestly we only opened this one so that Charity wouldn't close her blog, and besides I miss changing settings and templates already. And at least in this blog I don't have to tell everyone what I ate, all the comments can get kind of annoying like "I hope that's not all you eat" and "omg your such a pig" or "that's disgusting, I hope your face turns into a giant pimple". Yeah I'm not gonna miss those.